27 quotes from 2014

seagull

We’ll leave it to a future episode of reeling in the years to weave together everything that happened in 2014, a year that gave us much to talk about. Between the sound-bites dropped from those towering cultural (and viral) columns of water charges, ice bucket challenges, equality demonstrations and, *sigh*, Garth Brooks concerts are dozens of other quotables. We couldn’t catch em all but here’s our pick of 27 quotes that help capture the year that was 2014.


 “It astounds me…astounds me that there are people out there in the world who devote quite a large amount of their time and energies to trying to stop people you know, achieving happiness because that is what the people like the Iona Institute are at.”

— Panti, Saturday Night Live Show

January 11th


“The State News Agency of North Korea has confirmed today that the country has become the first in the world to ever land a man on the sun.

North Korea Lands First Ever Man On The Sun, Confirms Central News Agency, Waterford Whispers News
January 21st


Dreamt I was eating Cream Eggs. Woke up this morn. Pillow & beard covered in chocolate & cream thingymebob.”

— Gerry Adams, Twitter

January 25th


“A fockin bitch of a wohman! Why didn’t ya sweeten her up someway!?”

Irish Dads reaction to son ‘failing’ driving test

February 3rd


That standing ovation I got coming off the bench yesterday was amazing”

— Fergus McFadden, on replacing BOD on what was his last game for Ireland

March 9th


“I think this is the first time I’ve seen a “-gate” that involved an actual gate.”

— Reddit commenter Jeqk on ‘Trinity Gate’, the driver who crashed into the gates at Trinity College’s main entrance

April 3rd


collidge

“Collidge.”

Winner of the proposed logos for TCD competition
April 12th


“You’re not from Galway at all.”

Taoiseach Enda Kenny quizzes a protester on her accent

May 9th


“When the sun shines there are certain places that you just know will be packed. The Barge is probably the most obvious place to head but for years it was Ocean Bar. 100s of people would sit outside happily supping pints and watching knackers play their favourite sport of bridge jumping wearing wet suits. It really is amazing how long the little bastards can keep themselves entertained jumping into water and how the local crime rates plunge when they are all busy having their annual wash.”

— Niall Harbison, Sunny seafood comes to Dublin

June 16th


“I thought he was fucking dreading it”

— Eamon Dunphy, live on air  describing Neymar taking a penalty kick during the Brazil-Mexico game
June 17th


“Please God let that be the end of that.”

— Comment on It’s over: Garth Brooks confirms all five concerts are cancelled’

July 14th


“WATERFORD ON SEAGULL ALERT”

— Waterford is under attack — from a laughing seagull

July 15th


“Quick, where’s the ice?”

— Voice in background after Teresina Bell hits her head off a clothes line while doing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
August 24th


Whoever decided to send famine relief via Bus Eireann only has themselves to blame for it showing up late.”

Comment on the Bus filled with Potatoes in Limerick as part of City of Culture 2014 events

September 4th


“A minute of shouting has been announced to mark your respect for him.”

Redditor Sambospudz on the news that Ian Paisley has died

September 12th


“The Republic’s capital is transforming into a twee, beige place, devoid of spontaneity and creative risk.”

— Una Mullally, Risk-free Dublin losing its mojo

September 22nd


“Journalist approaches middle-age without actually realizing it.”

— Commentor Cohen Hand’s response to Una Mullally’s article, Risk-free Dublin losing its mojo

September 22nd


“Hands off my stop-cock”

— Sign held by one of the Irish water protesters
October 11th


Bail that one out, Merkel.”

— John O’Shea scoring in Ireland’s 1-1 draw against Germany

October 14th


“Water is a finite resource … water needs to be paid for, it costs. It doesn’t just fall out of the sky”

Fine Gael Senator Martin Conway on the water charges

October 20th


Don’t take me drugs away

I hardly seen through yesterday

How the fuck am I supposed to see tomorrow?”

Singer on Dublin bus

October 25th


“”Ireland uses Euro, In the North of Ireland they have sterling”

“They do? It’s just too confusing”

Conversation between Martin Shanahan, CEO, IDA Ireland and American business show host

November 3rd


“I am sorry to inform you that my client does not hire Irish people due to the alcoholism nature of your kind. Best of luck in future.”

Job rejection letter sent to Irish girl in Korea

November 5th


“The fish are looking well.”

— Nidge, season finale Love/Hate
November 9th


Let’s stop the fokin’ roller coaster for a second cause I’ve something else I want to hit you with. SPHIDERS.”

— Viper Higgins, Illuminati conspiracies REVEALED

November 11th


I believe the plan on the day is for John Bruton to stand out front of the GPO and deliver a speech on how we should have settled for home rule, then, as I understand it, he will proceed to, under guard, relieve himself onto a facsimile of the 1916 proclamation while holding up a treasured polaroid of queen victoria and singing the Rick Astley number “never gonna give you up.”

— Commenter ‘Swimbirds’, On the video published to mark the centenary of the 1916 Easter Rising that failed to mention the rising

December 3rd


“The people in my area are expected to drink glorified piss and you’re going to charge them for it.”

— Ming Flanagan challenges Minister to drink glass of ‘glorified piss’ 

December 19th


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