DJ illuminatis


Brave Twitter user DJilluminates has been joining the dots and consequently upending the DJ world with his revelations that our favourite music makers and the Lizard overlords that control the music industry and fluoride up our water, are one and the same. In fact, look anywhere in the electronic music world and bam, Triangles. Illuminati triangles. DJilluminates points out the obvious.

In the words of Viper Higgins, the evidence is there.

How does he recognise this shadowy society that controls all? In a interview with thumped, he explains:

Sometimes I will jolt awake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, and a name will be imprinted on my mind. This is how I discovered Diplo. Other times people suggest DJ’s they feel may be being controlled, and I look into it. Recently a lead came through that suggests Tiesto may have been at both the assassination of JFK and the signing of the Treaty of Versailles, and that Pharrell doesn’t actually exist, and is just an actor hired by Colgate to promote teeth whitening products. I’m following both of these up intently.

Here’s some of DJilluminates most shocking findings:


Flight Facilities 16 letters 16AD was a leap year starting on Wednesday.  confirmed illuminati



SBTRKT 6 letters, begins with S. Saturday is the 6th day, begins with S.   confirmed illuminati



Skream 6 letters There are six convex regular polytopes in four dimensions.  confirmed illuminati



Four Tet 7 letters. 999,999 divided by 7 is exactly 142,857.  confirmed illuminati

four tet


Flume: Flume=5 letters. Santa=5 letters Rhymes with doom, & the worst pokemon, Gloom.  confirmed illuminati



Chase & Status Half rhymes with chasing lettuce. Turtles love lettuce.  confirmed illuminati



Jacques Greene 13 letters The American flag has 13 stripes.  confirmed illuminati

Jacques Greene


Noisia 6 letters The cells of a beehive honeycomb are 6-sided.  confirmed illuminati



Lido Real name Peder Losnegård 14 letters February 14 is St Valentine’s day.  confirmed illuminati



Baauer Baauer=6 letters Harlem Shake=11 letters 11+6=17 17 x 39.1764705882 = 666. Illuminati confirmed



Chet Faker Music 14 letters Stroke His Beard = 14 letters confirmed illuminati



Alison Wonderland Sounds like Alice In Wonderland=3 words. Triangles have 3 sides


Devastating stuff. More here.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>